Something recently came to my attention. It was a rather shocking, not because I hadn't thought about, but more because I hadn't really thought about the reality of it. I am getting older.
This realisation hit in two parts. One was that I put on a lot of weight. Not, you know, tons. But enough that I outgrew all my clothing and had to buy a whole new wardrobe. At first I thought this may be because I had settled into a life of office work, tv watching and very vigorous drinking, and had abandoned my life of running round a crazy restaurant, never eating and some slightly less vigorous drinking. I took up exercising and for a few months (in anticipation of looking fabulous on my wedding day) I was not only running 5-10km every morning, but doing aerobics every evening as well. Not one kilo shifted. Recently I took on a consultancy setting up a restaurant, so I have been working 90 hours a week, running round a crazy restaurant, barely eating and taking part in a familiar amount of vigorous drinking. Not a molecule of my butt has shifted location, and my 'sexy' jeans remain stubbornly one size too small.
Having come home after a long absense I had come face to face with a lot of my friends suddenly looking distinctly older. Yes, we all have facebook and up to the minute updates of how people look, but in photos you seldom see the slight sag of a tummy, the creases round an eye, the grey hairs peeking out from beneath the dye. Arriving home and realising that my 20-something, perky, taught, fit and muscular friends had in many cases settled into softer, rounder, balding, slightly faded shapes was a bit of a shock to the system.
Still, it was happening to others. The second part of my realisation happened today. I put on make up for the start of my evening job and discovered that if I put on eye cream BEFORE the foundation, the cover up doesn't sink into the smile lines quite so much..... and came up hard against my own mortality. My bum will never be as firm, my boobs never quite so perky, my skin never quite as smooth as it was a year ago, or even as they are today. Puts things in perspective a bit.
I thought I was done journeying for a while. Seems the downslide still has the potential for one hell of a ride.